My Beefs 2010…yes already
The wonderful David O Doherty
“My beefs 2010, things I’ve encountered again and again, my beefs 2010, excuse me while I release an ARGH!” – David O’Doherty 2010
This is the genius lyric of the comedian David O’Doherty. In this song he sings about ‘his beefs’, things that have annoyed him, which last year included people with Iphones, women who tell him their dreams, and people who constantly update their status on Facebook. Check it out.
Whilst listening to this song I realised that 2011 has already brought me much annoyance and stress, and I realised I had my own ‘beefs’ to share with the world. Enjoy me having a very public breakdown.
Shops that sell Easter eggs from January because it’s the next big date on the calendar.
Please, shops stop doing this I’m begging you; it doesn’t help us poor dieters who have to resist temptation in all their glorious egg forms. From the mini eggs to the massive eggs which are as big as our heads, they surround us for three months, making me both annoyed and fat in equal measure. All I ask is that they only turn up in the shops a mere week before Easter, then we can be friends again.
People with Ipads who show off in inappropriate places
Moving on from Mr O’Doherty’s problem with Iphones, I move up one notch to Ipads. To me they are basically mini laptops that scream, ‘look how much money I have’, with thousands of useless applications that you insist on boring other people with. “Oh look I can make your face look like an alien or read a book without having to actually go to a bookshop!”. NO!!! You clearly have no friends so insist on making everyone on your train feel like a pauper when actually you are a complete burke and everyone hates you. Ok I am insanely jealous and secretly want one, but I’m a massive hypocrite, but I feel I earn the right to be, I will never earn enough money to buy one anyway. Besides, when you are being packed onto a crowded train, we need all the room we can get, and your Ipad uses up too much of it. So there.
News channels that think snow is real news
Every day something truly terrible happens in the world, something so horrific that news channels run over there and report it, that’s fine, we expect that. But SNOW! REALLY? White stuff falls to the ground giving the whole nation a valid excuse to skive and you REPORT it? WHAT! NO! We look out our windows and see it, we don’t need to be told it’s there, and we certainly don’t need to be told it’s a bad thing. Try telling our snowman and snow angel that the snow days were a waste of time.
Outspoken celebrities on Twitter
Twitter is so full of celebrities making every little detail of their life known that I no longer pay attention, and I’ve become so overwhelmed by meaningless celebrity twitterings that I no longer care. Surely these celebrities have a celebrity lifestyle to lead, another flop movie to act in, or an abysmal record to make? Celebrities on twitter please shut up and stop clogging up our newsfeed with your details of your Z list celebrity parties. Let us little people get a word in.
Over obsessed Twilight fans
Don’t get me wrong, anything that gets people reading can only be a good thing, it’s not Twilight I have the issue with, it’s their hard-core fans. The fans who are old enough to know better, the fans that tattoo ‘RPATZ 4EVA’ on their arm and cry into their vampire-themed duvets at night when they realise they have no friends because they’re so obsessed that they’re beyond creepy. Let’s not forget it was because of these extreme fans that Robert Pattison nearly got run over by a taxi last year…maybe they aren’t that bad on second thoughts.
People who hate Glee.
Its singing, dancing and a kick-as script, what more do you people want?
Thank you David O Doherty for inspiring this rant, I feel much better now.
